Try this as a thought exercise.
The year is 2005. Hungry for prominence, Senator Barack Obama resolves to jump start his public acclaim. He hits upon a brilliant strategem: calling Eugene Robinson at the Washington Post, he introduces himself as a press aide named John Miller. Recognizing Obama’s distinctive cadences and turns of phrase, Robinson is stunned. Reflexively, he turns on his speakerphone.
“John Miller’s” orotund voice fills the room, reminding Robinson of Obama’s eloquent speech at the 2004 Democratic convention. “Miller” commences bragging about “Obama’s” golfing prowess and “huge” book royalties. Though Obama is married, the faux flack then catalogs all the women who want to sleep with the junior senator from Illinois- “Angelina Jolie, for sure. But for a man like Barack Obama she’s only a six.
“Beyoncé? She’s absolutely desperate for him - it’s kind of sad, really. Maybe I - I mean Senator Obama - will give her a break, move her up the waiting list. He’s always had a fondness for the audacity of hope. Especially when a woman feels the fierce urgency of now.”
Pausing for breath, “Miller” adds in a confidential tone, “I’ll tell you one thing - I’ve never seen anything like this guy. All the success, all the women. Look, I used to work for Denzel Washington and Daniel Craig, but they just don’t ‘measure up’ “
Stifling his gag reflex, Robinson endures a numbing 15 minute soliloquy of self which ends with “Gotta go. Jennifer Aniston just walked into the bosses’ office. Maybe this time he’ll say what every woman wants to hear from him -‘Yes, we can.’”
Silent, Robinson absorbs an experience which, mercifully, is unique in his career. Feeling the weight of his journalistic responsibilities, he begins checking to see if anyone else has received calls from Barack Obama pretending to be a staffer. One thing he knows for sure - the country can’t afford to elect as president a man whose behavior suggests a serious emotional disorder.
Reading this, did you begin to cringe a little? Writing it, I sure did. And not just because, from Barack Obama, such tasteless and bizarre behavior would be unthinkable.Read the rest of this op-ed HERE.
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