RIGHT SPEAK: ICE Guide to Avoiding Deportation in 5 Easy Steps

President Obama's executive amnesty for an estimated five million illegal aliens is, from the perspective of Republicans, an unconstitutional power grab that threatens the republic. In Obama's telling, over soft piano music in a campaign-style YouTube video, it “just comes down to people.”

Another version is the one agents of U.S. Customs and Immigration Enforcement (ICE) experience in trying to enforce U.S. immigration laws – specifically a five point checklist they were provided Friday evening and obtained by Breitbart News.

The bureaucratic document uses the Orwellian title “Parental Accountability Checklist.” The line below that explains it is a “Checklist for NOT Arresting/Removing Individuals Under Deferred Action Expansion.”

First, agents must ask detained aliens: did you have a U.S. citizen or lawful permanent resident child on Nov. 20, 2014? Have you resided in the U.S. since Jan. 1, 2010? Were you physically present in the U.S. on Nov. 20, 2014? And were you “without lawful immigration status” on Nov. 20, 2014?

If the alien answers “yes” to these questions, and they have not been convicted of serious crimes, “the individual should be released from custody or not removed, and referred to USCIS to seek deferred action,” the document instructs.

As one might imagine, apprehended aliens theoretically facing deportation may not always provide truthful answers to these questions. So ICE has established the robust policy of taking people completely at their word and letting someone else check it out later, should the alien ever later apply for official amnesty from the Obama administration.

CLICK HERE to open ICE DOCUMENTS

“It's not our job to make any kind of initial investigation or ask for anything...just take them at their word and release so they can apply in Jan and let CIS figure it out,” an angry ICE agent explained.

Aliens referred to USCIS to apply for “parental accountability” are obviously likely to follow-up with the agency, providing phone bills, birth certificates and other documents for USCIS to investigate. After all – when tens of thousands of unaccompanied children streamed across the border this summer, a whopping 6 percent of them later showed up in court, abiding by their notice to appear. And federal agencies like USCIS are known for their ability to competently handle a sudden surge of more than double their normal capacity, as contemplated by the executive order and the agency's early order for materials to print millions of additional id cards for its recipients.